List of Non-Costumes

I promised my wife I would go "out" with her and some friends on Halloween. I told her in no way was I going to dress up and I was going to wear my usual attire. Her response was what was I going to tell people that asked me what my costume was? The following are the ideas I rambled off to her.

1. I am dressed as the Pope on his way to a rave.
2. I am dressed as a pedophile.
3. I am a Priest in real life, this is a costume.
4. (to a overweight individual) I was going to dress as a hamburger but you ate my costume.
5. I am dressed as an inconsiquential idiot, wanted to know how you felt everyday.
6. I am dressed as a Republican.
7. I am dressed as a reality show camera man on his day off.

I know I am a nerd, and I do not know why my wife puts up with me.